The post Skirt Club – The world of a private female members-only sex club appeared first on FrolicMe.
Now living in New York after five years in Miami, Genevieve LeJeune, founder of the female members-only sex club event company, Skirt Club is not impressed by the cold. I talked to Genevieve about the rise in popularity for her female-only sex parties and we Skyped on a rather cool day in New York and a positively tropical one in Edinburgh.
Genevieve was first inspired to host female-only sex parties after realising she’d been treated quite badly at some mixed-gender events she and her ex-partner used to attend.
“I felt like a piece of meat,” she says recalling a time when men would paw at the women and she decided that there must be a better, gentler way to explore her sensuality and sexuality. Somewhere she could share experiences without feeling like she was performing or being rewarded by her then partner. His behaviour seems to have been instrumental in the motivation for a new way to do things. Buoyed up by enthusiastic friends, Genevieve decided to give it a try.
Now boasting several cities around the world as part of the female members-only sex club family, you’d think it must be a dream job, a sex enthusiasts utopia!
Skirt Club is about so much more than a sexual encounter
It has a whole ethos—empowering women to take ownership of all areas of their lives, autonomy where they may have felt they needed to ask permission. From finances to travel, answering only to themselves.
Genevieve and Skirt Club are building a fierce community of females dedicated to their own strength and feeling entitled to their place in this world—making no apology for being here and doing what they feel is right for them. Looking and seeking out their path, not anyone else’s.
Genevieve is fascinating and inspiring and I definitely learned a lot looking through the Skirt Club site and talking with her. I am guilty of apologising too much, being fearful of voicing my needs or desires, worrying I’m too much/not enough. Genevieve’s vision is giving women like me, who have been ingrained with these feelings their whole lives, the confidence to believe we are enough. You can ask for what you desire and you can empower your sexual experience in a safe and sexy place with like-minded joyful explorers.
Straight women do have a fluidity when it comes to sexual orientation
During her younger years, she expressed a desire to experiment with girls and was immediately shut down.
“In those days you were either straight or lesbian there was no in-between. It was taboo to even talk about it. I thought I was strange, it seemed that it was bad to like girls.”
Genevieve wanted to smash those taboos and let women with feelings like hers not be subjected to such brutal rejection of their desires. She wanted to create a safe place for women to explore and feel free to take ownership of their needs and wants.
She started talking among her friends in London and decided to host a party for sexually curious women. Around twenty or so friends and friends of friends came along and the first party was born.
“It was mainly drinking champagne and dancing around her apartment bonding,” Genevieve told me. “That’s the real key to these nights, getting comfortable with each other.
Women sharing and revealing thoughts.”
I asked what happened to cause the leap into thinking this could become a business in the form of a female members-only sex club.
“It became too popular! I was turning people away and ended up looking for venues. I realised I’d have to charge for entry to cover the venue hire and so began to think this could be something.” With now over thirty cities in the world holding events every month, it’s a business that is really thriving.
Before founding Skirt Club in 2014, Genevieve was a financial journalist then a brand consultant. It was a very male-dominated workplace and she often had to assert her place in the company. “The men would automatically assume I was there to make the tea,” she says rolling her eyes. She found this dominating attitude to also be true in the sex party environment.
“Women were almost made to perform for the men who pounced if anyone looked their way. I wanted somewhere where women could fully relax and inhabit the moment without it being a performance, something purely for them.”
This deep conditioning throughout our lives as women, where we are the ones being pursued means a whole new set of skills have to be learned when navigating the politics of the female members-only sex club party. Far from ‘one look is all it takes’ a more nuanced approach has to be learned. Women have to first of all, really think about what they want to happen at the sex party and how to go about making it happen. They have to navigate this world of voicing their own desires, being the one who at that moment, is in control. It is a hugely interesting dynamic and one Genevieve is acutely aware of.
She tells me, “At the party, the shoe is on the other foot—we have to grapple with the issues and be in a position to change it. We sometimes have to have a dominant mindset to make the first move.” Genevieve believes this dynamic can be profound and transformative and feeds into one of Skirt Club’s mottos ‘Confidence in the bedroom, confidence in the boardroom.’
From the start, she wanted to put her name and face to Skirt Club, and because of that felt she’d have to leave the financial industries behind. Whilst at first she felt trepidation, deep down she knew it was the right thing to do. “It was bigger than me, it became more than me. I had to pursue it.” It seems she is fighting for the young girl she once was, the one made to feel ashamed of her feelings.
The evening itself begins with cocktails and chat, flirtatious behaviour and tentative touches but nothing overtly sexual. Women compliment each other freely and seem extremely relaxed in each other’s company.
Because of Genevieve’s negative experience at other sex parties, safety and care are paramount at a Skirt Club party. A lot of the guests will be new to the scene and also to exploring their sexuality and Genevieve understands it might be an intimidating prospect.
To help with this there are several ‘hosts’ that keep an eye out for any awkwardness and help ease those women who might be shy into talking.
“Women are emotional beings, they have to adopt a whole new way of learning.”
I asked if this can sometimes cause hesitation within the parties, and how does Skirt Club transition into a more sexually charged atmosphere.
“The events have a structure that all the hosts adhere to – all event hosts have attended at least one party and we are rigorous in explaining the format.”
“It’s a magic potion designed to get women feeling comfortable and in the mood to be open and experimental. It’s all about fun – not wanting a relationship.”
The evening begins with a warm welcome from the host.
“I always think mothers make the best hosts as they are always looking for what they need to do next to make people feel comfortable.” It’s this comfort and feeling welcome and included that is the most important thing. “If someone doesn’t feel at ease, they will either just leave, or drink a little too much and we don’t want either of those things.” At £180 per ticket, it is a treat and indulgence which Genevieve feels is also part of the empowerment. “Women feeling like they can invest in their pleasure, treat themselves and having autonomy over all aspects of their lives is so important.”
During the first half of the evening, women get to know each other and learn how to flirt with other women, compliments and champagne flow, building a convivial atmosphere. I was curious to discover how this first half moves from being essentially a networking event or night out with friends to a sexually fuelled female orgy.
“There is always a speaker or performer, usually burlesque or pole dancer. I like to make sure that the women learn something at our events, not just about their sexual selves but by having speakers we can learn intellectually too. Women need to be turned on mentally as well as physically.”
After the performance, there are drinking games to loosen people up.
“Tequila body shots are a particular favourite.” The way Genevieve smiles has me suddenly craving a drink from a nude lady…
Just hearing about the activities designed to ‘get the juices flowing’ has me feeling amped up so I can imagine it does the same for the women in attendance. At this point, flirtations grow and become bolder. Women are navigating the next step in taking things further.
While all women are welcome, the main demographic is straight women looking to explore
So for many, this may be the first time they have actually flirted with intent. It sounds like an exhilarating moment. The next hours of the party are full of women taking control of their sexual selves and enjoying the new flavours and experiences on offer. They have stepped over the boundary and embraced a new world where they have asked for what they desire and most like are now indulging in exactly what they wanted.
On the Skirt Club website, you’ll see the statement, “Find personal growth, empowerment and sexual discovery. A network of successful women with a common interest.”
Skirt Club believes women shouldn’t feel like they need to perform for men or ask permission to explore their sexuality. By founding Skirt Club, Genevieve wanted to prove a point.
“Your sexual desires should be decided by you.”
Born in Hong Kong, Genevieve moved to London when she was two years old. Wanderlust and love of other cultures followed and she has lived in over fifteen countries, fascinated by how other people live and think. When she took her parties to Miami—the first place outside of the UK she was rather nervous. “It was weird because I didn’t know the culture.” But she took the leap and five years later, it looks like for all our cultural differences, sexual exploration is popular around the globe.
From Beijing to Buenos Aires, Moscow to Tokyo, there’s a Skirt Club on every continent for you to explore feminine fire.
Over the past five years, Genevieve has witnessed a growing openness to discussing sex and sexuality —particularly female desires.
“In the early days it was tough to find speakers for the events, now we are absolutely inundated with offers of women with businesses on empowerment, unafraid to talk about pleasure. That’s how we want to live—where we can talk from the heart with no barriers—where it is cool for women to talk about sex. It simply doesn’t make sense not to.” Genevieve wants to build a female members-only sex club, a community where there’s no shame surrounding sex and with the growing popularity of her sex parties worldwide, I’d say she is very close to accomplishing her mission.
“This fourth wave of feminism is offering women huge freedom.”
I’ve been right in the middle of it for five years and witnessed it going from 0-60. Confidence changes everything.”
And we would certainly agree with that.
To shift your confidence from your very centre – that of your sexual desires, your root chakra even, to find your true voice and have the confidence to unashamedly is powerful indeed and will take root, growing and emboldening other facets of your life. Genevieve truly believes that men have held the secret of this power for so long, it’s high time we caught up.
“I love this talk by Jameela Jamil. I think it’s hugely important and inspiring.”
Take a look at Skirt Club’s Vimeo account where you can watch short films from the press and interviews with members.
The post Skirt Club – The world of a private female members-only sex club appeared first on FrolicMe.